Someday means never

Watched Knight and Day tonight. Part of it takes place in Austria and it made me long for old buildings, cobblestones, and foreign languages. I want to be among art and history and adventure.

Habitually I google plane ticket prices for various places, get excited, and check my bank account. Masochist. Every day that I put off travel brings me one step closer to being a sad 40-something who never goes anywhere except to visit relatives in a neighboring state: my worst nightmare.

I need to get the fuck out of school asap because society and the voices in my head say so, but I also really, really need to get the fuck out of this country. Studying abroad would not further my degree at all, but it's the only way I could afford to leave. One cannot get loans for doing awesome shit, after all.

This summer has been so stagnant - all grey skies and boredom. I just want to drive far, far away and get lost among the trees.

Working part time is really annoying. It leaves just enough free time unable to be filled but not enough to wander far.

Maybe it's the disappointment of summer so far, but nothing is going well. I'm reverting to a former self... saying stupid things, disliking my body, the horrible feeling of too much sleep and too little exertion.

In summation: Whine, whine, bother, bother.
  • Current Music
    "Get Lost" - Patrick Wolf
Arrested Development

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Bored while possibly ruining dinner. <-- don't have the necessary tools to make rice (like, say, a skillet with a lid).

Summer may finally be beginning, which is perfect timing. Rachel and I are going on a one-day roadtrip tomorrow heading east. I have a hiking guide to Washington geology, so we're going to do at least one of the hikes.

All the graduates have made to reflect on school. I'm sick to being in the system, but these past three years have changed me so drastically for the better. I'm sort of glad not to be leaving - there is so much more growth to be done and friends to be found.

My monstrous cat is horny. He is tearing up paper, sulking, and attacking people. We assume it's pent up sexual frustration.

This summer I hope to teach myself calculus, the major bones (so, not every ear bone), and the geologic time scale. So far I have watched TV and slept a lot.
  • Current Mood
    bored bored
Arrested Development

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Break has been fabulous, even when I'm bored to tears. The anxiety of school was gone for almost a month! Magic. I have had nightmares about chemistry class off and on throughout break, however.

What have I done. Finished almost two seasons of Veronica Mars, cleaned a lot, shot a Civil War-era shotgun (and was cold and bored watching others shoot), saw my dad, feared for my life while driving, bought awesome winter boots, spent Christmas day alone with not enough TV channels, ate too much meat, slept too much, started to set up a benefit concert all by myself, harassed the cat, ate too much chocolate, became slightly disenchanted with Indiana Jones, went to a Jason Webley concert, became a bridesmaid, and worked out at the gym once.

So, a lot of eating and sedentary activities.

I am anxious about school, unsatisfied with a lot of my friendships, afraid to be honest. It all boils down to confidence... which I thought I had, but apparently not.
  • Current Music
    Mitch playing a Call of Duty
Arrested Development

Winter Quarter Schedule

Math 115: MTWRF 10-10:50 AM
GIS in Geology: MWF 12-12:50 PM
Chem 122: MTWF 2-2:50 PM
Chem lab: Thursday 2-4:50 PM

Hmm. Thursday lab could be a bad idea. I can't start studying for any tests on Friday until 5 PM. And I have been studying a lot this quarter. It's ridiculous - I'll study for 7 hours, go to all the office hours, and still have at least one problem on the test that I can't answer with confidence.

Also, I hate chemistry. The best score I received was on the test most people did worse on - because it was partly about wavelengths, aka physics. Physics with calculus will probably suck, but at least it will be somewhat familiar territory.

Oh, yeah, I need to go declare.

Outside of school, life is fantastic. My Mitchell, my cat, and my apartment are all doing splendidly. Friends, for the most part, are great. I am so excited to be snowed in this winter and to make my own coco (after googling how to do so).

Yes, life is good. School is just a bit of a downer. I wish I had exerted myself in my easier classes so my GPA wouldn't be hurt quite so much by these harder classes, but whatever. It's too late for such thoughts.

Gotta go make a study guide for the math final, read two chapters for chemistry, and work on my geology final project. Or watch Gossip Girl season two.
  • Current Mood
    busy busy
I would be a duck

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I love LiveJournal, because while pursuing my Friendslist, I managed to have windows open on the Wikipedia page for the history of eugenics, a debate of what to do if your mentally handicapped son gets a chick pregnant, and a Twilight dildo.

Updated by popular request... Yes the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN! Who doesn't love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully? That's what we thought. For those of us who fantasize about being spellbound and tantalized by the forbidden comes The Vamp. We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night.

The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow. Since it's a Tantus toy, The Vamp is made from Tantus' own unique blend of 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone. Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle.


I'm moving on Monday. Nt done packing yet, and I only have tonight. Procrastination is evil.
  • Current Music
    "The Bachelor" - Patrick Wolf
I would be a duck

Mmm, space

I visited Mitch in Endicott last week. Ran out of gas at a gas station in LaCrosse. The AAA operator took forever to find me, and couldn't until I read the name of the library/city hall/post office (one building) to her. Mitch found me first. We drove to Pullman and Moscow, ID. We watched people get drunk at the gun club and drive home. We explored a half-demolished house (half-demolished because a tractor rolled into it). I fell in love with The Boondock Saints and finished reading A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. I captured a runaway dog three times, painted part of a house, and almost went crazy because of the flies.

Overall, it was a fun trip.

Moving at the end of this month. I'm so excited I want to buy kitchen supplies. Instead of bringing Gunther up to Bellingham, Mitch and I will be adopting Niko, my aunt's cat. He is currently in Oakland, CA. My mom gets the honor of bringing him up here... that should be a fun plane and car ride. I won't get him until after my aunt's wedding in late September, sadly.

This guy I wanted to be friends with (there are many people on the To Be Friends With list) randomly ran into me yesterday downtown. He knew my name, which is weird, and he told me not to get the swine flu vaccine. Apparently I should research the vaccine, because there is a conspiracy theory surrounding it. I was hoping he was making an obtuse Torchwood reference, but alas. If he reads this (there are many people who read my LJ anonymously), I hope he is satisfied that my laziness/frugality will keep me from getting the vaccine.

Do you know how much money and effort goes into putting on a concert with a even semi-famous band? It's insane. STAND is already trying to figure out our spring quarter benefit concert. The "benefit" part of the concert might just be the hardest part to work out, because students are cheap.

I thought I had something worthwhile to post about, but apparently not.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy
I would be a duck

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My mum came up today. We ate a delicious meal at Skylarks with Rachel, toured the alpaca store in Fairhaven, and looked at the outside of my apartment. Also, my life is a tiny bit more complete now that I own The Elements of Style.

Jenny invited me to join a program at which she volunteers: Books to Prisoners. It's pretty awesome to read the letters from prisoners and try to fid them books. One guy wanted fantasy, vampires, business, art, and books about the Philippines. I found him a book about making money as an artist, a book with lots of pictures (for him to draw) of Southeast Asia, and The Vampire Lestat. It was the most perfect grouping of books I managed all night. The people who seem to run the Bellingham operation are a little weird however - one woman gave me a tour of the bookcases even though each is labeled. Oh well, it was pretty fun.

Jenny is going to invite to the next meeting of the Whatcom county fetish group. I'm quite excited to find out how different real life is from fiction.

Yesterday I walked to Boulevard Park and read for a few hours before being joined by Lacey and Jenny. We played frisbee and ate at Boundary Bay. This might be the best summer ever, productivity-wise. I'm actually out doing things. :)
  • Current Mood
    tired tired

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In an explanation of race on the US census, the government says something magical:

People of Hispanic origin may be of any race and should answer the question on race by marking one or more race categories shown on the questionnaire, including White, Black or African American, American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian, Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander, and Some Other Race.

I know a guy who is a member of some ancient tribe in Mexico - a Native Mexican, so to speak - and I wonder which race he chooses to be on any given day. The race of whoever oppressed his people most often, perhaps.
  • Current Music
    Shitty rap music from Brooklyn's room. CLOSE YOUR DOOR, FOOL.
I would be a duck

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Stuff, stuff, stuff.

A while ago, my mom and I went on a roadtrip to Oregon to pick up our Great Pyrenees puppy. We ended up buying two - Kira and Falkor (a big white dog must be named after the big white dog dragon from the Neverending Story) - and transporting a third for another alpaca farm in Warm Beach. I played mother/vomit catcher in the back seat the whole way up with them. They're hellions to everyone else, but loooooove me. I am belated chronically this just to show off how goddamn cute they are.

Work is going extremely well. I work three days a week now. I am unofficially the favourite. My bosses have taught me how to do most of the activities on the farm while the other girls weed. Weeding is a bit therapeutic - is there a better feeling in this world than when you pull a nasty weed out with the entire root intact? Probably.

My bosses are also giving me so much food - they gave me all the leftover zucchini and summer squash from the farm stand on Tuesday. I gave two to a homeless guy on the street, three to my weird housemate, one to Jenny, and then went on an adventure to find the Bellingham Food Bank with Jenny yesterday. The food bank, which was quite a chore to find, took the veggies! I didn't know if they would.

Jenny and I also helped out at the community garden on campus in exchange for raspberries. I'm going to try to make this a regular thing... it's so nice to work outside.

Rachel and I tried to go swimming yesterday, but Rachel discovered the water was rather cold. We spent a hilarious 15 minutes trying to get her back on to the dock before I brought her a log on which to float to shore. Hopefully today will be more successful.

Ugh, I just want to move into my apartment already.
I would be a duck

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Canada's list of chemicals and contaminants that are either restricted or banned in Canada/European Union. Thought I would share, because the United States has banned none of these. Thanks, America.

I have been thinking a lot about women and fear lately. While not clinically paranoid, I am a very fearful person, and I want to know what caused this. Someone should do a study on women's fear by comparing fear levels between Americans and women in other MDCs. I am most interested in knowing if American society teaches girls that they are victims and are going to be victimized more than other Most Developed Countries. Obviously the statistics for this list of rape per capita is bullshit because the DRC isn't at the top. It's hard to know which country has the most instances of rape and which country has the most reports of rape.

"The Fear of Rape: A Social Control" (Riger, Gordon) does not seem to be online, but the abstract states:

A survey in three United States cities indicates that fear of rape is greatest among women who are elderly, belong to ethnic minorities, or have low incomes. Certain psychosocial and environmental factors are associated with high fear levels among women. Fear, in turn, determines the use of certain types of safety strategies.

I have only heard of elderly women being raped in The Democratic Republic of the Congo, so that is a very interesting result.

The Education Resources Information Center has a lot of interesting studies. College rape victims and re-victimization are apparently quite hot topics. One study found that almost 20% of undergraduate women experienced some type of completed sexual assault since entering college. Most sexual assaults occurred after women voluntarily consumed alcohol, whereas few occurred after women had been given a drug without their knowledge or consent. Holy shit.

Why do I never want to research fun things?
  • Current Mood
    surprised surprised